Potty Training Max: A Long Road to a Big Win (Part 1 of 2)

One of the many potty training attempts

Potty training with Max started at the “usual” age. I had successfully trained our other three kids somewhere between two and three years old, so I figured I’d begin with the twins around the same time.

With Sam, Max’s twin, things went as expected—smoothly and without much fuss. But with Max… well, it was a different story.

Early Signs—or the Lack Thereof

The signs of readiness just weren’t there. Max never had a dry pull-up when it was time to try the toilet. In fact, his pull-ups were often so full that they leaked.

I even tried putting him in underwear, thinking that feeling wet might motivate him to stay dry. Instead, it just meant constant cleanups—he couldn’t make it long without an accident.

We tried everything—stickers, candy, toys, even electronics—as rewards. But Max couldn’t make the connection between using the toilet and earning the prize. Eventually, I realized the “typical” potty training timeline, like so many other things, just didn’t apply to Max.

Years of Trying (and Failing)

From ages 3 to 16, I’d periodically muster the energy to try again. There were never any real signs he was ready, but I felt it was my responsibility—for Max’s independence, for his well-being, and yes, to help him fit in.

The older he got, the more awkward it felt to have him in pull-ups. And the cost of “adult diapers” wasn’t helping either. With every failed attempt, I grew less optimistic that Max would ever use the toilet.

Teenage Progress—But Still No Interest

As a teenager, Max was thriving in many ways. School was going well, he enjoyed more activities, and his aggression had decreased. But using the toilet? Still not interested.

Wearing a pull-up didn’t bother him one bit. He was perfectly content to have someone else clean him up. Honestly, I thought this might be our forever reality.

A Turning Point in Disneyland

Then came his first return trip to Disneyland—at age 17—in our travel trailer. Max wore a pull-up the whole time, though we took him to the restroom regularly to prevent leaks. He still wasn’t reliable.

But the 12-hour drive home changed everything. We made fewer bathroom stops because we just wanted to get home. Each time I took Max to the restroom—three to four hours since his last break—his pull-up was dry.

Was this finally the sign I’d been waiting for?

The Day We Ditched the Pull-Ups

The day after we got home, I told Max we were done with pull-ups. He was going to wear underwear and use the toilet.

He wasn’t thrilled. He put on the underwear but kept asking, “Yes, pull-up?” I stayed firm, reminding him that he wore underwear now. I also placed towels wherever he sat—just in case.

Then I waited.

The first time he needed to urinate, he simply got up and went to the toilet. No fuss. No protest. I could hardly believe it.

From that day forward, Max never had a single accident with urination. Within a short time, he was fully reliable during the day—at home and at school.

Not 100% There (Yet)

Pooping on the toilet was still another battle entirely (that’s a story for another post), but helping Max become independent with daytime urination was a huge win for us. And in our world, every win counts.